Navigating Life’s Rollercoaster: Embracing Wisdom, Letting Go, and Finding Growth
Life’s a bit like a Jackson Pollock painting – messy, chaotic, and full of unexpected splatters. I continue to try and come to terms with the untamed nature of life; it rarely follows the neat script we envision. Sure, we could throw a tantrum when things don’t align perfectly, but where’s the fun in that? I’ve figured out that stressing over life’s little imperfections is like juggling flaming torches – entertaining for a moment, but ultimately hazardous to your mental wellbeing. So, I am trying to adopted a mantra to let the non-essentials go, release the grip on perfection, and embrace the beautifully messy masterpiece that is life. After all, there’s only so much energy one can expend trying to color inside the lines.
I’m that guy who can’t resist the siren call of perfectly aligned bookshelves. Picture this: meticulously arranged rows of over 2500 volumes, each spine neatly parallel to its neighbors. Then enters my mischievous brother, the disruptor of order, who takes pleasure in subtly pushing books askew. It’s a deliberate act of chaos in my sanctuary. Once he leaves, my compulsion kicks in; I can’t shake the thought of those misaligned books. It’s a mental itch that demands scratching. So, there I go, up and down the shelves, meticulously realigning each book until the harmony is restored. It might sound obsessive, but for me, leaving them askew is simply unthinkable.
Divorce wasn’t exactly part of my life plan – it just swooped in like an uninvited party crasher. You know how it goes – life throws some unexpected curveballs, and you’re left trying to catch them without dropping everything else. Enter my ex-wife, who, instead of choosing the path of least resistance, decided to turn our split into a full-fledged battleground. It seemed less about fairness and more about squeezing every last drop of whatever she could out of the situation – a blend of greed with a dash of revenge, as if they were mixing up a toxic cocktail of justice in their own peculiar way.
I’m your classic Type A individual, a tad on the spectrum, and a self-professed control freak. Taking chances isn’t really my style; I prefer to orchestrate how things pan out. Before the divorce bomb dropped, I learned a hard truth: people are like elusive cats, not easily corralled. You can nudge them in a direction, but making them own up to their actions or behave rationally? Not so much. When it came to the divorce proceedings, I attempted to reign in the chaos and steer the ship. Spoiler alert: it didn’t go according to plan, and the stress became a permanent resident in my life. Sleep became a distant memory, and the turmoil seeped into every nook – work, school, and even my health took a hit. Control, as it turns out, is a fickle friend.
My ultra-conservative Christian family couldn’t fathom the idea of me going through with a divorce. They resorted to emotional manipulation, particularly my dad and one of my younger brothers, attempting to coerce me into reconciling with my ex-wife. While my Christian beliefs uphold the sanctity of marriage, I also acknowledge that divorce, in certain circumstances, is a valid option. Yet, I found myself powerless in the face of their determination to push me back into the past. Succumbing to the pressure, I gave in. What followed was a double-edged sword – on one side, the reunion was a terrible decision, rife with stress that likely took a toll on my health and well-being, potentially shaving years off my life. On the flip side, there were aspects that unexpectedly turned out to be positive, I learned that the marriage was over.
Amidst the tumult of my personal struggles, an additional storm brewed in my family when my dad received a cancer diagnosis. As if our plates weren’t already overflowing with stress, his health battle became a heavy cloud casting shadows over us. Despite grappling with his own health, my dad persisted in urging me to salvage the marriage. I tried explaining that I couldn’t manipulate my ex-wife or magically alter her. It became evident that his insistence bordered on emotional blackmail, a tactic that only intensified the strain we were under. Balancing my own challenges with the weight of familial expectations, I realized the importance of setting boundaries and recognizing the manipulative nature of certain pleas. When it comes to family things are rarely clean and easy.
The chaos in my personal life seeped into my professional realm, handing one of my bosses an opening to wield the axe. Fortunately, some other higher-ups stepped in to prevent that catastrophe, but my world was still a swirling maelstrom of disorder. Dealing with a boss who’s the epitome of a total ass, I had to confront him head-on. It wasn’t a walk in the park, but I stood my ground, called him out on his nonsense, and miraculously turned the tables. Not only did I salvage my job, but I even managed to wrangle a raise out of the mess. It was far from a smooth ride, more like a wild rollercoaster of difficulty and messiness, but in the end, I pulled through.
“Control, control, you must learn control.” – Yoda
“But when God makes it known to you that you’re not the one steering the ship, be thankful. He has removed the illusion, and forced you to rely only on Him.” – Yasmin Mogahed
“God grant me the serenity, To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.” – The Serenity Prayer written by Reinhold Neibuhr
The concept of complete control is nothing more than a mirage, a fleeting illusion that dances on the edges of our understanding. However, acknowledging the existence of free will grants us a measure of influence over our lives. The real trick lies in discerning the boundaries between what we can and cannot control. It’s not just about recognizing our sphere of influence but also understanding that not every controllable aspect needs our attention. Guided by the law of diminishing returns and the undeniable truth that our resources, particularly time and effort, are finite, we’re urged to focus on the pivotal aspects. It’s a weekly reminder for me – a gentle nudge to refrain from chasing after control for its own sake and to invest my energies wisely in shaping the things that truly matter.
“Don’t sweat the small stuff…and it’s all small stuff.” – Richard Carlson
“…when you let go of your expectations, when you accept life as it is, you’re free. To hold on is to be serious and uptight. To let go is to lighten up.” – Richard Carlson
As you navigate through these words, my sincere hope is that you discover a nugget of wisdom that resonates with you. Life is a perpetual journey of learning and growth, and in sharing these experiences, my aim is to offer a bit of insight that may prove valuable on your own path. Whether it sparks a moment of reflection, prompts a shift in perspective, or simply adds a touch of inspiration to your day, I aspire for these words to be a source of guidance. Together, let’s embrace the journey of understanding, learning, and growing, finding meaning in the shared tapestry of our diverse experiences.
Treasures of the Elysian Fields 
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