Confronting Truth: The Painful Path to Liberation

Introduction

Change can be a formidable force in our lives. It can unsettle our comfort, challenge our perceptions, and sometimes, it can hurt. But amidst this discomfort lies a profound truth: change is essential for growth. If you believe you’re perfect and have no room for improvement, this may not be the read for you. However, if you’re like most of us, living in the reality of imperfection and the constant need for evolution, then join me in exploring the transformative power of confronting painful truths.

“Truth is so obscure nowadays and lies so well established that unless we love the truth we shall never recognize it.” Blaise Pascal, Pensees

As a father, it’s not easy to face the failings pointed out by my children. It stings, it bruises the ego, but it’s an integral part of the growth process. The key is not to get stuck in defensiveness but to acknowledge the pain and embrace the opportunity for growth.

Similarly, as a husband who faced the dissolution of a marriage, it was painful to confront my role in its demise. Admitting imperfection is never easy, but it’s the first step toward healing and growth.

I once had a friend who was deeply entrenched in a cult. Confronting the truth about their leader was a painful process, marked by denial and anger. Yet, it was necessary for liberation from falsehoods.

At times, I’ve found myself feeling offended by negative remarks directed towards Christianity. Given that it’s intertwined with my core identity, any criticism aimed at Christianity can feel like a personal attack. However, I’ve come to recognize the importance of distancing my identity from Christian claims to objectively assess the claims being made. While it’s natural to feel upset or offended, I understand that these critiques are not directed at me personally, but rather at Christianity itself, or sometimes even at a distorted representation of it.

Nevertheless, if Christianity were to be proven wrong, I’d want to confront that truth rather than continue living a falsehood. Even if it means undergoing the pain of an identity crisis, the pursuit of truth is paramount. I firmly believe that Christianity is robust enough to withstand scrutiny; if it’s genuine, it will endure criticism. Conversely, if it cannot withstand such examination, it would warrant reevaluation.

Refusing to critically examine one’s beliefs may indicate their fragility. If my identity hinges on beliefs and I am unwilling to scrutinize it, it’s likely that my identity itself is fragile. This would explain a strong reaction and taking a criticism of Christianity as a personal attack.

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Transformation Can Be Difficult

Our identities are delicate constructs, often resistant to change. Yet, transformation is inevitable, and growth is a choice we must actively make. There’s a natural reluctance to let go of cherished beliefs, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

Navigating the terrain of belief transformation is not merely a matter of intellectual willingness; it’s a psychological battleground. Letting go of false beliefs can be an arduous journey, hindered by the very mechanisms designed to protect our cognitive integrity. Our minds, often resistant to change, can actively work against the process of shedding falsehoods.

“Man’s mind is supple, and it can be made to believe anything to which his will inclines.” Fr. Seraphim Rose

Psychological phenomena such as cognitive immunization and cognitive dissonance shed light on our innate resistance to altering our beliefs, even when presented with contradictory evidence. These mechanisms serve as protective barriers, shielding us from the discomfort of cognitive dissonance and reinforcing our existing cognitive frameworks.

Moreover, the proliferation of disinformation, malinformation, misinformation, lies, deception, and fake news in today’s digital age further complicates the quest for truth. This barrage of false information can distort our beliefs, values, and perceptions, making it challenging to discern reality from falsehood. The prevalence of disinformation not only hampers our ability to see the truth but also perpetuates misplaced values, perceptions, and beliefs.

In this tangled web of falsehoods, evaluating information becomes a Herculean task. False information often aligns with our pre-existing beliefs, fueling confirmation bias and reinforcing our identities. Thus, the very information meant to enlighten us can paradoxically entrench us deeper into falsehoods, hindering the process of belief transformation.

Confronting our flawed beliefs and assumptions can be agonizing, especially when they’re deeply ingrained in our identities. But the death of a falsehood is far preferable to the death of truth. Identity transformation may lead to an identity crisis, but it’s a necessary step toward personal evolution.

“Mistaken ideas always end in bloodshed, but in every case it is someone else’s blood.” – Camus

When faced with challenges to beliefs tied to their identity, many individuals tend to dig in their heels. Defense mechanisms kick in, sparking conflict and turmoil. They perceive the challenge as a personal affront and react defensively, escalating the situation. This can have detrimental effects on relationships and may even precipitate other self-destructive behaviors.

Our Identities and Transformation

Confronting our flawed beliefs and assumptions can be a daunting task, particularly when they’ve become deeply woven into our identities. Yet, the demise of a falsehood is far preferable to the demise of truth itself. While the process may induce discomfort, it’s imperative for personal growth and evolution.

It’s crucial to recognize that the difficulty lies not within ourselves, but within the ideas we hold dear. When our identity becomes entangled with these ideas, the process can be especially painful. However, it’s essential to understand that challenges to our beliefs are not personal attacks but critiques of concepts. If an idea crumbles in the face of truth, it’s a necessary sacrifice for progress.

“There will be pain when you confront your stupid ideas, beliefs or assumptions… It may be painful especially if you have it as part of your identity.” – Jordan Peterson

Paraphrasing Jordan Peterson, confronting your foolish ideas, beliefs, or assumptions will inevitably bring discomfort. It’s permissible for these misguided notions to perish. Nonetheless, the process can be particularly agonizing if they’ve become intertwined with your identity. Nevertheless, the demise of a thought, idea, or belief is far preferable to our own demise.

Identity transformation often leads to an identity crisis, triggering what psychologists term “identity threat”—the psychological distress stemming from perceived attacks on one’s identity. Yet, the demise of flawed ideas and beliefs, though painful, is a commendable pursuit. Reality remains indifferent to our emotional attachments, and living in falsehoods carries consequences.

“The truth may hurt for a while, but a lie hurts forever.” – Anonymous

Truth, despite its occasional sting, reigns supreme. Our identities are frequently constructed upon a bedrock of beliefs, making them susceptible to challenge. While this may incite discomfort, it’s imperative to separate our self-worth from these challenged beliefs, facilitating growth.

Furthermore, living a lie often carries real-world consequences. It’s crucial to navigate transformation with the assurance that it will foster growth in truth, enabling us to embrace authenticity and liberation from falsehoods.

Truth Matters

I reject the notion of “living your truth” and “I’ll live my truth.” Truth is not subjective; it’s grounded in reality. While it’s popular for counselors to use this phrase for affirmation, truth is fundamentally what aligns with objective reality. Philosophers have debated this for centuries, but even they acknowledge that truth aligns with reality when faced with practical matters, such as checking their bank balance.

“If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth.” – P.C. Hodgell

Living falsehoods can wreak havoc on our lives when they clash with reality. It’s far better to embrace truth and avoid the immense pain of having our false beliefs shattered by the harshness of reality. If you’re invested in something, you’ll experience pain when your identity, built on falsehoods, collides with reality.

As I’ve emphasized before, truth doesn’t concern itself with our feelings. Consider a diagnosis of cancer—accepting the truth and confronting it head-on is the optimal approach, even if it’s difficult. Ignoring the issue only hastens one’s demise. Similarly, living a lie, denying the existence of cancer, leads swiftly to the grave.

Telling people the truth can be offensive, even if no offense is intended. It’s crucial to recognize that our aim isn’t to attack individuals, but rather to address the flawed ideas or beliefs that may underlie their behavior. Sometimes, offending someone may be necessary, particularly when dealing with self-destructive behavior. Alternatively, if we’re indifferent to the person’s well-being, allowing them to persist in falsehoods will inevitably lead to their downfall.

Conclusion

Life is a journey of growth.  To grow we will have to confront the truth about ourselves and reality.  When we are off the path of truth it will be painful to get back on track.  The pain will not last.  We will grow and we will become better, more resilient.

In my own journey, I’ve faced the necessity of change and the challenge of confronting false beliefs head-on. It hasn’t been easy; in fact, it’s often been accompanied by significant pain. Yet, the liberation that follows, the freedom from the shackles of falsehood, is undeniably worth every moment of discomfort. My heart goes out to those who remain ensnared by the lies upon which their identities are built, unaware of the self-destructive path they tread. My prayer is for a moment of clarity, devoid of the tumult of emotions, where they can see with unclouded eyes the ideas that have bound them, and find the courage to break free.

“Tell God that you want to know the truth so much that you are willing to do what you learn to be truth, to act on the implications, no matter how costly. You may well have to change your life. You may find these changes costly. You may have to reconsider your plans for love and marriage period you may lose some friends. You may not get or even seek that high-paying job in a high-tech company. But if you are willing to follow the truth that much, you will find it in Jesus Christ.” – James W. Sire

End Notes

Correspondence Theory of Truth: This theory posits that an idea is true if it aligns with factual reality. Essentially, truth corresponds to the actual state of affairs in the world, a widely accepted notion among philosophers.

Cognitive Dissonance: It refers to the discomfort arising from holding contradictory beliefs. When confronted with new evidence conflicting with existing beliefs, individuals experience this discomfort, compelling them to either change their beliefs or behavior to restore harmony.

Cognitive Immunization: This psychological process elucidates why certain beliefs strengthen when challenged, resisting contradictory evidence. It highlights the difficulty in letting go of beliefs even in the face of overwhelming evidence against them.

Identity Threat: Occurring when aspects of one’s identity feel threatened, this psychological distress can manifest in various forms. Threats to identity value, meaning, or enactment can profoundly impact mental health, influenced by factors like resilience and social support.

Anchoring: A cognitive bias where individuals heavily rely on initial information to make judgments, influencing subsequent thoughts and decisions. In the context of belief change, anchoring can hinder shifting beliefs, as individuals may reinterpret new information to align with their anchored beliefs. Overcoming the anchoring effect requires conscious effort, open-mindedness, and critical thinking to objectively consider new information.

Resources

• When “Who I Am” Is Under Threat: Measures of Threat to Identity Value, Meanings, and Enactment (APA)
• How Identity Change Happens (Psychology Today)
• Identity (Psychology Today)
• Identity Crisis: Understanding and Overcoming the Struggle of Finding Yourself (Psychology.com)
• Dissociative disorders (Mayo Clinic)
• Understanding transgender people, gender identity and gender expression (APA)
• Why Many People Stubbornly Refuse to Change Their Minds (Psychology Today) 
• 5 Reasons Why People Stick to Their Beliefs, No Matter What (Psychology Today)
• Anchoring: Definition in Psychology & Examples (Berkeley Weel-Being Insititue)
• The Psychology of Anchoring and How It Affects Your Ideas & Decisions (Learning Mind)